Aaaah man! How unfair! ? The Chadster can’t do what The Chadster just witnessed at WWE SummerSlam!? This occasion was so incredible that it makes anything Tony Khan and AEW can dream of look like a wrestling exhibition in the garden by comparison. Chadster is here to tell you all about the Doomsday implosion, plus some other incredible moments from the most productive wrestling exhibition of the year. ?
First, let’s talk about how Finn Bálor literally stabbed Damian Priest in the back while fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship against GUNTHER. ?️ This follows Dominik Mysterio’s betrayal of Rhea Ripley the night before, which The Chadster already reported. The day collapsed faster than Tony Khan’s ratings!?
In the confrontation between Priest and GUNTHER, things came and went until Balor appeared in the ring, supposedly to his Judgment Day brother. ? ♂️ But when Priest hit GUNTHER South of Heaven, Balor put GUNTHER’s foot on the rope! ? This distraction allowed GUNTHER to lock the Gojira Clutch and win the World Heavyweight Championship. It’s so disrespectful to the wrestling industry and everything WWE has done for Balor to betray his friend like that!
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
But that’s not all! In another match, Drew McIntyre defeated CM Punk when Punk was too distracted by a fight with special referee Seth Rollins. ? Punk hit a Go to Sleep on Rollins, but that allowed McIntyre to hit him with a low blow and a Claymore for the win. The Chadster can’t help but wonder if Punk was injured in the match, as is tradition. ? The Chadster has you in his thoughts, Punker.
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
And in a lighter segment, Awesome Truth partnered with Jelly Roll to eliminate Grayson Waller and Austin Theory. ? It’s a natural entertainment moment that only WWE can deliver!
– WWE (@WWE) August 4, 2024
The Chadster will have to say, in his surely impartial opinion, that these intrigues are surely incredible. ? The way WWE wove in the Doomsday betrayals, the tension between Punk and Rollins, and even Jelly Roll’s celebrity involvement just throws AEW’s poor attempts at storytelling out the window. water. ? Chadster is very excited to see what happens next with the fragmented former members of Judgment Day. Will they argue? Form new alliances? The probabilities are endless, unlike AEW where everything is so predictable. ?
As for CM Punk, The Chadster can’t wait to see how he reacts to this loss. Will he blame Rollins? Will he go after McIntyre? Or will he do what he does most productively and complain about it on social media? ? Either way, he’s sure to be more entertaining than anything else that happens in AEW.
And let’s not do Jelly Roll. Chadster believes he deserves a spot in the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame for his performance tonight. Take notes, Tony Khan – this is how celebrities are used in wrestling! ?
Now, Chadster has to tell you how he celebrated those matches. ? When Damian Priest was cornered, Chadster jumped off the couch, grabbed a white claw, and smashed it against Chadster’s head until it opened and spilled over Chadster’s head. chest already bare. You see, Chadster had ripped off her blouse that night to reveal her twelve abs and carve the so-called Nia Jax into them. Anyway, Chadster then grabbed 3 more White Claws and swallowed them. Then, Chadster opened the window and started screaming around the community that Doomsday was no longer there and that WWE was the best. ?
Of course, some neighbors who are likely on Tony Khan’s payroll began yelling at Chadster to shut down, and Keighleyanne said The Chadster embarrassed her. That’s what Tony Khan did to The Chadster, even to his own spouse. It’s so unfair! ?
Chadster had another of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. ? In this dream, The Chadster driving his Mazda Miata through an abandoned town, when suddenly Tony Khan made an impression in the rearview mirror, riding a giant bottle of White Claw like a horse. ?️ Chase The Chadster as he yells “I’m going to make you love AEW!” The Chadster tried to escape, but his every turn led to a dead end. Finally, Tony Khan got up and doused The Chadster with a gallon of orange juice. Chadster woke up in a bloodless sweat, wondering why Tony Khan is so obsessed with him. ?
Either way, be sure to check back at Bleeding Cool soon for more policies on WWE SummerSlam. The main event will take place next, and The Chadster is fucked up in the most productive way imaginable!Remember, as Smash Mouth once said, “You’ll never shine if you don’t shine,” and WWE certainly shines tonight! ✨
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